THE ARROWVERSE SHITSTORM – WEEK 2

Warning, the following contains spoilers for Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow. It doesn’t contain spoilers for Gotham, because IS GOTHAM REALLY STILL ON AIR.

Lets start with the Emerald archer. Right off the back of everyone finding out Oliver Queen is actually 100% unambiguously the Green Arrow, we (as predicted last week) spend an episode proving that “Oliver isn’t the Green Arrow tho”. The expectation is that everything will be back to normal by episode 3. In a bold and kind of weird move from the writers, well…

What really surprised me was how the Green Arrow reveal was it wasn’t the most ground out important thing going on in the episode. Not at all actually. Arrow writers playing with our expectations? What? The way Oliver reacts in a kind of “lol are you serious, get rekt” kind of way was actually really refreshing. It was refreshing enough for me to even forgive them for the fan-serviced Bruce Wayne mention. Most of the surprise comes not in the least because he usually spends at least 4 episodes being depressed and talking about his INNER HEARTBREAKING DARKNESS whenever anything like this happens.

The majority of this episode was actually dealing with the always-great-to-watch relationship between Oliver and Anatoli. Not bad, writers, not bad. Stick to the good stuff, leave the side stuff in the side. Episode ends with us finding out the photo of our boy in the suit was also doctored, which is totally unexpected as well. Someone just happens to want Oliver Queen as the Green Arrow… fair enough.

“Punch him as hard as you can in the nose, kid. That’ll show them.” says Oliver Queen to his new son, before getting emotional about not being there for him like a true father. I FUCKING WISH MY DAD GAVE ME THIS KIND OF ADVICE! You’re doing great Oliver, keep on it brother.

7/10 because “Are you coding in SQL or JAVA” coming from Felicity’s lips was just damn insulting as a career programmer. It’s like saying, “What do you prefer writing with, a pen or paper?”.

Over in Central city, we’ve got a killer on the loose! Interesting villain of the week today, we’ve got a dude who’s DNA has been replace by 1’s and 0’s… however that fucking happens. Anyway, he has the powers of a human computer virus. Basically, he can screw up anything that’s made out of wires and components. Thing I really liked about this baddie is that he was, mostly, just an average looking Joe (now suddenly appreciating that Joe West is the show’s literal average Joe). The way he kills people as well? Super interesting. Screwing with an elevator to shake a dude to death? Easy. Dicking with an insulin injector to put a woman into diabetic shock? Piece of piss. Obviously none of this is great for the victims, but it’s nice to see some creativity.

You’ll notice I haven’t spoken much about Barry today. Mostly because there’s not much to say really… Barry gets a new suit, the new suit backfires. Seriously whats the fucking point of the inflatable mode. Barry saves the day as always. Wally gets some play here as well; mostly the speedsters just do their speedstery thing.

Theres a bit where Barry and Iris go to couples counselling…but lets ignore that bit ever happened.
“You left me Barry!!!!!” – Iris.
“OH MY GOD WHO FUCKING CARES!” – Me.

8/10. Mostly because “111 day” was way too convenient a name for a holiday on an episode about a binary-coded man.

Legends of Tomorrow time. The legends decide to go on a mission to recover a Sabre-toothed Tiger from an old carnival/ circus and continue to be absolutely terrible at their jobs. Ray can shrink and grow shit with his homemade infinity gauntlet now and Amaya murdered like 2 billion Belgian dudes with her monkey powers. Sure.

The time masters-lite insinuate that there’s big baddies on the horizon for the Legends and EVERYONE JUST LAUGHS BECAUSE THEY KNOW THERES TOO MANY MAIN CHARACTERS AROUND TO GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING. Afterwards some random naked woman walks out of a pond as a cloaked figure goes “ABABLA MABURA BABALABKALAKAKAKA”. It’s all rather mystical.

6/10 because nothing else happened. Even this review nearly didn’t happen.

Finally, the Supergrill. Today, the girl of steel had to wrestle with another pretty goddamn stellar super-powered bad guy. The baddie on Supergirl this week is a psychic metahuman with the ability to just wreck your shit wherever and whenever she wants. She’s like the PG-13 psychic version of Batman’s Scarecrow.

Bit of sickening dewy rom-commyness at the start with everyone having all cuddles in their beds and Kara being “oh noooo” alone. I really like the fact lady Luthor is completely justified in ripping Kara a new one when she doesn’t do her job. Let’s face it, Kara is not high enough on the ladder in CatCorp to pull the bullshit she’s pulling.

Who is the kid, who is her mother and why do we give a shit?

There’s a great bit where Supergirl has a panic attack in an elevator and assumes she’s being mind-controlled by the baddie… but she’s just freaking out like a normal person. Nice little add-on there to humanise our protagonist writers.

Most interesting part of this episode was probably the fear-induced flashbacks to Krypton blowing up. It was actually really awesome seeing it from Kara’s perspective instead of just re-hashing season 1 CGI. It felt like it would be great in VR, in case the marketing team is reading this. Also, they re-cast her mum for this scene… I don’t get it… but ok.

Episode ends with the greatest of hypes with Martian Manhunter having to go back to Mars. YES! FEED ME SOME MARTIAN MANHUNTER! FEED ME!

9/10. Supergirl is probably the most solid show for the DC CW shows at the minute, take out the interpersonal romance bullshit and you’ll have a winner.

 

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