Interview with Henry Cavill’s Mustache

There’s been a bit of  controversy regarding Warner Bros. recently.  The studio are doing the absolute unthinkable… digitally removing Henry Cavill’s mustache. We decided to sit down with Basil Mustache, the man behind the facial hair, and find the true story.

Movie Mop: Hi Basil, great to see you again, wow thats a hell of a handshake! Has it really been so long since we last spoke?
Basil Mustache: You too, its great to be here interviewing again for such a prestigious review website.
MM: There’s been a bit of internet madness about your recently, isn’t that right?
BM: Well Sporkington, as you know, the movie industry is a tough gig. Things can happen completely out of anyone’s control. I’ve been working with Henry since he was young, we started off a bit rough but our partnership has grown stronger with age. I think the studio made the right decision, personally. I’ve seen a rough chop of the film and its smooth and silky.
MM: Does that mean they’re cutting you from future DC movies as well?
BM: I haven’t really been planning on reappearing in any of them as of yet, to be honest. They asked me to come in and shoot some scenes, a lot of stuff gets left on the cutting room floor. It can be a real barber shop in there. There’s been a lot of rejigging/ reshooting since Joss Whedon came in so you could say it’s even crazier than it normally is.
MM: Reappearing? You’re talking about your Man of Steel cameo right?
BM: Right. For that we had the help of Marvin Beard as well, great actor, truly talented. He’s a close friend of Jake Abdominals, we managed to convince him to come in after Jake got a bit-part. I like Jake by the way, he’s a hard but square guy.
MM: Tell me about your partnership with Mr Cavill.
BM: We met back when he was a kid, just after he met Russel Crowe. At the start I mostly just stuck to the background of his career. If you stare really hard at the screen you can see me cameo in a few episodes in The Tudors. I did a bunch of directing/ producing on the sidelines and worked on the side as a motivational speaker. Surprisingly me and Henry didn’t really work together fully in a big blockbuster until Man of Steel. Not that we didn’t have the chance, they almost cast me in Immortals, it was a close shave.
MM: You mentioned Marvin Beard. Some would say your definitive work together in the Superman origin story is hard to top. For any other Superman movies, could you guys reasonably get away with not including him? You yourself say that he is a talented actor.
BM: We spoke to Marvin just before doing our shoots actually. He gave us his best, he’s tied up in knots at the minute with other work. We combed the talent pool for replacements but deep down we knew there just wasn’t anyone else. Better to have no actor than a messy one.
MM: Continuing with Superman, how did you feel when they first cast you alongside Mr Cavill?
BM: It was mixed emotions really. I went in for the interview scraggly and unkempt. I really didn’t expect to be coming out of that interview with the gig at all. They had me play a love interest opposite Stacy Lips, but we never ended up having a scene together. When they told me I was the guy they wanted, it was very very surprising. I spent the rest of the day getting tangled in interviews, kind of like today really.
MM: I remember! That’s how we met.
BM: It was quite the day.
MM: It’s not all bad news though. You and Henry are going to be working together anyway right?
BM: Absolutely! We’re playing a duo in the next Mission Impossible movie out next year. A brief shoutout to Tom Cruise, we love working with that guy. He has his own entourage but never gets tangled up in responsibilities.
MM: That about  wraps up our questions and our time. Thanks, Basil.
BM: You too Sporkington.

That was Basil Mustache, star of Man of Steel, regarding being cut from Justice League.

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